HE HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE

It floors me that the President of the United States of America, the ruler with the largest cabinet and government the country has ever known, gets his information from the daily newspapers. It has been his excuse with everything from the New Black Panthers at the polls to the Cambridge police / Professor Gates (the police acted stupidly) to Fast and Furious to the IRS scandal and now to the Justice Department plucking phone records from the AP.

Why couldn’t the Justice Department start with the records of government employees using government phones and email to find out who may have leaked information? Why did they have to start with private citizens?

“Just like you, I got the information this morning from the Washington Post.” I guess he has to see what the papers are saying to gin up the proper spin for Carney. Jay, after all, has to point the finger in a direction that will lead truth seekers on a wild goose chase.

His cabinet admits to informing him about Benghazi. But he was tired from a long day and had to rest up before taking the long flight to Vegas to dazzle donors and beg for more money to defeat Mitt Romney. Perhaps that one time he was informed of the disaster created by his underlings before he read about it in the morning paper.

At any rate, we do know there was contact with the President on that one. That was the time some obscure, unseen YouTube video caused all the problems that left four Americans dead. He couldn’t have had all the information about that situation.

The Justice Department secretly pulled phone records from the AP because reporters may have information that is important to the country. Do you suppose Eric did this to keep the President ignorant, to keep the news out of the papers that he might read in the morning?

No, that’s not the case because Eric Holder didn’t know anything about the phone records until that story broke. It was his immediate subordinate, Deputy Attorney General James Cole, whose wardrobe is adorned with tire tread imprints from the proverbial bus this time.

The leader of the nation and his entire squadron of cabinet members and department heads know nothing about what happens within the government. They have to read about it all in the newspapers or watch it brought forth on FOXNews. Once they see it on FOXNews, they can discredit it as just more racism from the Right Wing Conspiracy.

I have been assured by the President himself, however, late yesterday afternoon that he will get to the bottom of it all, and justice will be done, those responsible will be held accountable. Of course, in Obamaspeak, that means someone will retire with full benefits, but not receive this year’s bonus.

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